Survival Tip Number One

My coleus plant is dying.

Everything is cold and wet.

My porch is the saddest place in America.

I’m starting to understand why people used to put oranges in each other’s Christmas stockings — a reminder that somewhere there is a sun and it is actually functioning.

But there is a ray of hope. Sorry if the word “ray” is a harsh reminder of warmth and dryness.

Seriously though. You guys. This might be the most important thing I will share with you all during the fall/winter season. Otherwise known as Dark and Rainy and I Laugh at Your Wish for Snow Season.

If you’re anything like me, a mechanically incompetent English major, you have no idea how to unfog the inside of your windshield first thing in the morning. Or, in the afternoons. Or, after making a five minute stop anywhere. Really, what is going on with you, windshield? Is this a cry for help?

But as always, my mechanically inclined engineer husband comes to the rescue. I have resisted his instructions on this for many years but this year, in our 17th year of our marriage, I have finally listened.

Here is how to defog the inside of your windshield in the morning, during the wettest coldest most miserable mornings of school drop off. Maybe it will make your morning about 10 percent less miserable.

defogger

  1. Turn the fan all the way up.
  2. Temperature just half way between hot and cold.
  3. Air conditioner ON
  4. Rear defogger up, because why not.
  5. Main defogger on.

I AM TELLING YOU THIS WORKS.

I know your car is fancier and newer and a totally different make and model than mine, but surely you can adjust for your controls, right?

If not, well, I’ve done my part. If you still need help, shoot me a message and I’ll have the husband come over to help you.

***

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