A few thoughts from tonight.
1. People, if you’re not going to put glow sticks or reflective stickers on your kids, then my gosh, help them cross the street in the dark.
2. To the drivers behind me. If I am waiting for a tractor with a hay wagon full of children to make a wide right turn in front of me, what is the point of you getting impatient and passing everyone? YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.
3. Oh hi there, Ultra-fab Mid-Century Modern homeowners! I LOVE your houses, but you need to point us in the right direction if you’re handing out candy. Nobody knows quite which way to come at you. Is that a door? Is that a nook? Is the streetside the front or is the front on the side? You are an enigma to me. A beautiful and intimidatingly cool mystery wrapped in an enigma. Just go stand outside with your bowl and don’t make us wonder.
4. WHAT DID MY HUSBAND DO, BUY THE ENTIRE WORLD’S SUPPLY OF BANANA LAFFY TAFFYS?? These poor children. Please do not egg our house.
5. And lastly. Any mom who reveals to me her son’s name is Sam Elliot is going to get all the rest of my Reese’s. The end. You win at life, lady.