Back it up and put it down

Yeah, so, um, maybe, like, please put your phone away and pay attention to what you are doing so you don’t accidentally rear-end me in the school drop-off line.

Yes. This happened.

I may have cussed pretty loudly while unintentionally making eye contact with my sweet angel baby in the rearview mirror. He looked scared. I felt bad.

But you know, in these situations, one might have the urge to loudly and emphatically ask the universe if the driver behind one’s car was kidding with this.

And angel baby will get over it.

There was no harm done, other than perhaps to my blood pressure and to my kids’ ever-expanding vocabulary. But I would be shocked if they ever repeated what I said. My whole family is way better and nicer people than I am.

The worst collateral damage was to everybody’s eyeballs. All the other parents and teachers got a full head-to-toe sweet look at my pajama pants and mismatched top and ROBE while I stepped out to assess the damage and check on the other driver & passengers (everybody’s fine).

I was not just in MY ROBE, but also sporting the sportiest top knot that ever top-knotted. No really, I think it was a leftover top knot from BEFORE BED the night before. So, you know, for sure within the Meghan Markle messy bun school of effortlessly flawless hair.

And now that I’m posting this I’d better go tell my husband about it. Hi, honey.

But seriously, Stop Looking At Your Idiot Phones In The Drop Off Line.

I can’t even believe I have to type this. It is a SCHOOL parking lot. There are KIDS EVERYWHERE, and kids are unpredictable.

I didn’t take her insurance information but I should have taken her phone.